that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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