Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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