Will you blow on my dice?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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