I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
