Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize