Don't you send me to vm
Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
