Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Randomize
