Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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