Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I am mentally ready for anal.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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