I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
