Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
You're completely useless in the revolution.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Dick very happy bro
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
