The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
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