Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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