thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
