Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize
