the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
