two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
