I feel great
I just peed on a car
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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