i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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