It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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