i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Randomize
