Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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