the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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