hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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