my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I will pee on everything he values.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
