Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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