I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
