remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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