Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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