you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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