You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
