You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Welp...herpes.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Randomize
