yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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