Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Randomize
