i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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