At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
