I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM VODKA MAN
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize