Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
