if only i could text you this smell
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
