wake up i wanna do it froggy style
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
