I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
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