You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
