The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
