So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
