Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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