Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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