this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
