I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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