just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I love you.
Bad choice
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