What a fucking waste of an outfit
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I am midnight drunk by noon
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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