Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
