Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Randomize
