She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
