Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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