Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
