your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
