Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
