Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Randomize
